5:1:21

April viewing. Stars for things I loved. Had to take a break and process all the films and series I watched in Jan-March. I couldn't take much more in. I was tired. People forget how much energy all this content and input takes. As Axl Rose put it in 1988: "Do you ever wonder why you're given so much shit to read?" We need rest but the entire culture is upstream 24/7. Sink or swim--even during the pandemic. I always feel behind because there is no way to keep up, much less "get ahead." And what does it even mean in an age where everything is being obliterated? When we're behind masks all day. What is the point? Can we ever ask that question outside of suicide? What if stopping, breaking, refusing were anti-suicidal? What if it was pro-life, in the truest sense. We "hang in there" and "keep going", keep doing--slaves to adaption--as if any other way of thinking about the pandemic age is anti-life. As if thinking is anti-life. Anti-success, which I guess it is now. What the fuck is this American life? Do we even have it within us to ask that anymore?

We need time to make sense of it all, especially as "all" keeps expanding. All is a full-time job. All grows every second. All is everywhere, all the time. All has replaced love and relationships. All has replaced time. All has replaced life. All has replaced future. All has replaced originality and grace.

All has taken its toll. Even the things I love--the things that give me strength--take strength. Take so much time.


1. Logan Lucky, 2017
2. Jazz if Lights, 1954*
3. Home of the Brave, 1986*
4. Bent Time, 1984*
5. Ready Mix, 2021*
6. Booksmart, 2019
7. 50/50, 2011
8. The Trip to Greece, 2020
9. The Blue Room, 2014
10. Clockwatchers, 1997
11. The Night Visitor, 1971
12. Amy Schumer Learns to Cook, 2020
13. Expecting Amy, 2020*
14. Mare of Eastham, 2021
15. The New Romantics: A Fine Romance, 2001
16. All is Lost, 2013
17. A Shock to the System, 1990
18. The Nevers, E1
19. [Thelonius] Monk in Europe, 1968