7:10:22

"Most. Boring. Orgy. Ever.

Even the orgy scene in Eyes Wide Shut is tame. Yes, Warner Bros. blocked out some explicit content, but that doesn’t change the fact that it looked like somebody spiked the Illuminati punch bowl with sleeping pills.

In fact, the entire movie exhibited glacially slow pacing; almost as if Kubrick was trying to hypnotize us. I mean, here we have Tom Cruise being captured by a sinister secret society, and there is no action in the movie at all. And no laughs either – that might break the hypnotic spell. And it goes on and on and on for an incredible 159 minutes which feels like double that length. Eyes Wide Shut will literally put you to sleep – despite the fact that it is loaded with naked chicks!

'You’re getting sleepy, very sleepy. When you wake up from this boring movie you will believe the Illuminati is harmless.'

And it’s not a joke, because when a genius director like Kubrick makes a boring movie, it’s not an accident. Ladies and gentleman, I submit to you: Eyes Wide Shut is a psy-op just like Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy.

Now, there is a character who pimps out his underage daughter (Milich at the costume shop) however he isn’t portrayed as a part of the Illuminati. And even there, the girl is game, so that makes it look less sinister. So Kubrick also whitewashes pedophilia, one of the Illuminati’s favorite pastimes.

Let’s look at a creepy subplot. In the frame below, we see two characters that we might call Square Head and Round Head at the 12:55 mark.

They are sitting at a table at the foot of the stairs, possibly as guards. The guy on the left has a square-ish head. The guy on the right has a rounded head. Perhaps Kubrick chose their distinctive head shapes so that we would recognize them more easily later in the movie. They have no lines. Their appearance here is significant because this is where Dr. Bill (far left) first learns that the Christmas party is less than wholesome. At the top of the stairs, he finds the host, Victor Ziegler, with a hooker who just overdosed.

The next time that we see Square Head and Round Head is at the end of the movie (2:30:35) in the toy store.

Kubrick puts them dead center to make sure that we get a good look. While Bill & Alice distract us with the boring, anti-climactic end of the film, we imagine their daughter Helena following the Illuminati operatives out to the creeper van. Now that’s alarming, but even here it’s not as sinister as it seems. First, Square Head and Round Head are not snatching the child. Second, before Helena follows them out of sight, she looks back at her parents, seemingly for approval.

Dr. Bill & Alice are not concerned at all. In fact, they dreaded the idea of taking her Christmas shopping, and acted indifferent as she enthusiastically picked out toys. For the remaining three minutes of the film, Bill & Alice don’t so much as glance in the direction of the last whereabouts of their child, displaying parental negligence. And finally, this sequence of events is so subtle that very few, if any, theater-goers probably noticed it at all. And so Kubrick softens the blow of the Illuminati’s acquisition of under-age sex slaves. He makes it look peaceful and voluntary, and perpetrated on parents who might deserve it.

As to the film’s title, I understand that the phrase is the Illuminati equivalent to the Mafia’s: 'you didn’t see anything.' And we didn’t see Dr. Bill ever notify the authorities: he didn’t call 911 for the hooker who overdosed, he didn’t notify the police about Milich pimping out his underage daughter at the costume shop, etc. He kept his eyes wide shut, and the title of the film should be understood as a command from Kubrick to yourself. If you ever see any Illuminati crime, just dummy up like the great movie stars Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

The moral of the story is that when a member of the esoteric world makes a film for us out here in the real (exoteric) world, he’s probably not doing us a favor. Rather, he’s probably running a psy-op on us."


-Matt Trivisonno, 2020